lessons from saturn.

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the tools I’ve kept handy and my commitment to working with them. Lately, my mind has been really getting in my own way and I’ve realized just how much my brain can hurt me. I am cultivating a beautiful personal practice to help me with this and I can’t wait to share it with you! (more on that later). So this past week I was feeling really stuck and neck deep, swimming in my own emotions about it. So I kept to my tools and practices and talked it out with a trusted confidant. This trusted confidant reminded me that it can be good for the mind to remember all that you’ve learned and the ways that you’ve grown. This is true. Sometimes we grow and learn so quickly and arrive at a new place but forget how we got there.

That notion stuck with me and in a syncratic moment over the weekend, the #28 came to me. So, naturally, I decided to reflect on my Saturn Return lessons from the year I turned 28.

If you're not familiar with what Saturn return is, no worries. There are plenty of articles out there to help you understand what it is. In short, the planet Saturn ( a very slow moving planet ) takes approximately 29.5 years ( give or take ) to complete its journey around the sun. So, in astrology, a “Saturn return” refers to when the planet Saturn literally returns to your natal Saturn position aka the place where Saturn was in the sky the moment you took your first breath. Amazing, right? So Saturn return is an astrological event that most find quite intense. It’s a right of passage. Many people report learning valuable life informing lessons during this time. Folks will question their life purpose and their existential existence on Earth - this was my experience. This tends to be the time in your late 20’s when you begin to really crack open the person you want to become and the values and purpose surrounding it. So you can imagine my curiosity when I reached for the journal I used to document my experiences in 2016, the year I turned 28. Luckily, I learned what Saturn return was that same year. So I was able to document my lessons as seeds from my own Saturn return. While knowing what was happening gave me some relief ( and a light at the end of the tunnel ), it didn’t relieve me of the existential crisis I was going through.

So, 4 years later, why take the trip down memory lane? I always tend to reflect on my lessons, but why pull out the journal and read it all? I knew I felt a strong pull to finally share my Saturn lessons in this space. But, why now? Why today? Then, synchronicity pulled through once again and it all made sense.

Today, I received a weekly energy update from an astrologer I’ve been following for years. She talked about the New Moon in Cancer ( during Cancer season - a power combo ) happening tomorrow and the energy associated with it. She mentioned that since the moon is ruled by Cancer some of us might feel our emotions heightened. She also mentioned feeling the need to ebb and flow more in relation to the watery intuitive sign of Cancer. This is a very special new moon. She also mentioned the planet Saturn would be very active. While Saturn can feel grounding, it also carries a heavy energy that could oppose the energy of watery Cancer. This, she noted, would leave room for us to feel held back and stuck or restricted in some sort of way.

So, it makes sense that this weekend, as I work with the new moon, I look back and reflect on some of the lessons that teacher Saturn has taught me. This need was also inspired by the recent eclipse and thinking about the upcoming shift into Leo season on the 23 of July where the energy will feel more fiery, energetic and bold, reminding me that it’s never a bad idea to take stock of where you are before you take bold action. And bold action is what I’m about to take as I prepare for the launch of my first ever guardianship offering to you : Nurture :O - more to come on that ...

So here they are … 14 Saturn return lessons straight from my journal and the year 2016. I hope they help you in some way. They have certainly served me well. Enjoy!

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5.3.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #1 : You do not need to put up with other people’s shit.

People make choices. And because of this they cannot be “saved” by you. It is important to help others if they are ready to be helped. But, people also make choices and you are not responsible for their choices. you do not need to put up with other people’s shit.

5.3.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #2 : You are a highly creative person.

Although society and its structures tried to restrain you, put you in a box and make you feel stupid and undeserving - as an adult, you are living at you’re most fierce and true self. You are highly creative. And you are a valuable thing. No matter what anyone says.

5.19.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #3 : It’s time to have a spiritual practice.

There are signs and influences all pointing to the writing on the wall. As a biracial child from two completely different lineages, you have stumbled and felt divided between religion and spirituality your whole life. Although you were made from two juxtapositioned and binary bloodlines that have different ideologies, ways of being, practicing devotion and showing love - you can choose your own path if you allow yourself to be guided. So, it’s time to remove that band-aid that’s covered your religion wound and make room for healing. Spiritually.

6.4.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #4 : Never doubt your instincts.

You are capable of great things, including your understanding of others and yourself. Today, you had your first tarot card reading. It wasn’t exactly what you wanted to hear about that cute bartender but it was what you needed to hear about relationships. You will only be ready when you know you are ready. If you have doubt, it is not doubt about yourself. It is doubt within telling you it’s not the right choice or the right time. Arguing with what you need is no longer an option moving forward. You must listen to your instincts. You are capable of great things, so trust yourself from now on. Even though you were taught not to.

6.4.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #5 : You must learn to discern.

Other people’s shit can be toxic. Energy cannot be destroyed or created. It can, however, be transmuted. It can be harnessed or redirected. Because you are a human feelings sponge, you will encounter other people’s shitty energy. You must redirect it. You’ve tried to block it and it does not work. You need to harness your own positive energy to help redirect negative energy. Practice this daily. Use necessary tools to help you. If you do not discern, you will isolate yourself. And this is your nightmare.

6.4.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #6 : Crushes are distractions that are not always good.

Let’s consider the definition of a crush. Something / someone you desperately want that you know you can’t have. That’s practically it. When you are attracted to someone and you like someone and you are afraid to tell them because you don’t think you’ll live happily ever after and it’s a case of unrequited love, that’s a crush. If it’s love, then it’s love and you’ll know it. If you are not sure, then there is a reason it’s not working and it’s most likely a crush. In Sixteen Candles, Sam Baker had a moving heart to heart with her father on the family couch. She disclosed to him her feelings about stud muffin Jake and talked about the pain of unrequited love asking “why does it hurt so much?” to which her father replied, “That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, then they’d call them something else.” ( praise that papa Baker. praise that. )

6.21.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #7 : Sometimes the lesson you think you need to learn is not the real lesson you need to learn…enough said.

6.21.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #8 : On hope.

Hope. It might be hokie to you, but it might also be critically necessary to understand what this is and what it looks like to you. Even more so, what does hope feel like and how can you find it when you need it most?

6.21.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #9 : Your existence in moving forward is not defined or even propelled by the learning and growing of others around you…

6.21.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #10 : On your role.

Stop and reflectively write and consider what is your role? Who do you want to be? What is within your control? What is not? What values influence you and motivate you?

7.2.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #11 : Figure out what is happening to your cablight.

I once had a conversation with a friend about a dating book she read that turned the New York cab company into a dating metaphor. The whole idea is that people can tell if your “cab light” is on or off in the first 5 minutes of meeting you. If a person’s cab light is on, people will feel compelled to take a chance and reciprocate your curiosity and interest. If your cab light is off, then others will avoid you knowing you appear to be completely unavailable. Who would try to hail a cab if their light was off? I started thinking of this metaphor as a barometer for attracting and manifesting the things I wanted in life. And now I ask myself this about my own cab light : Do you want it on? It’s pretty clear to the universe that it’s off right now and you’re on some sort of a time out. What is stopping you from turning it on? What is keeping you attached to your current vices? Fear? Fear of who you are now? Fear of commitment? Fear of what could be? What do you want??? Figure it out, then either turn your cab light on or leave it off. You’ll never be ready for anything until you decide you are.

7.5.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #12 : Be kind to yourself.

Note to self : Darling, be kind to yourself today.

7.30.2016. Saturn Return Lesson #13 : On addictions.

Addictions can fuel anxiety. Anxiety can fuel attachment. Your biggest and most important lesson is to understand your attachment issues and work through them through your own mindfulness. This will empower you. This will set you free.

2.23.2017. Saturn Return Lesson #14 : A road map to freedom

Free yourself from rigid patterns.

Don’t censor when you write.

keep an intuition journal.

Go out in nature often.

Learn to trust your hunches and your gut.

Pay attention. Stay aware. Be present.

Daydream often.

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keep planting,

jamie