3 ways to support yourself during times of change and transition
As I write this post, I am deep in transition mode. I’m waving in the welcome wagon for change and setting a place at the table of life for the great unknown to dine with me.
If you’ve been following my journey, you probably know that I made one of the biggest decisions of my adult life to move back in with my mom, save money and quit my full-time job of almost 10 years as a career counselor. What you might not know is that last spring, after going full-time for about a year with The Garden, I struggled.
I didn’t quit The Garden, but it felt like I fell flat on my face a little bit and I ended up getting a part - time job to help make ends meet. Once again, I find myself now transitioning into Collective Inner Garden as a full - time business owner.
I’m celebrating! It’s scary and there’s a lot of beauty and unknown to embrace, but it’s truly where I’m meant to be. It was another big decision that required a lot of planning and self-trust. Trust that the lessons I’ve learned ( there were so many! ) after my first full-time go are integrating into this new chapter.
So, transition you see is my new middle name and change has become my best friend. I used to fear it, hate it and loath it. It felt like an unstable thing that I could never cage. But, if there’s one thing most of us have learned since the start of the panorama, it’s that change is a constant. For a beginning to unfold, an ending needs to exist. And if there’s one truth I’ve come to embody, it’s that I am more capable of embracing, flowing, and navigating, endings, beginnings, change and transition more than ever. And you are too!
Below are 3 ways to support yourself during times of change and transition.
I hope they help you find the ground in the weirdest of changing times <3
Give yourself extra
Depending on what type of transition or change you are navigating, this might be the only piece of advice you take from this article. And if it is, that’s okay.
One of the best pieces of advice I received from a practitioner early on in my healing journey when I was transitioning from an unwell time in my life to a well time, was to “give yourself extra”. The way he said it, the tone of his voice just made it stick with me. Even though he only said “give yourself extra”, I knew exactly what he was referring to - support.
When we go through transitions and times of change, this often shakes things up in our lives. This shift can feel subtle in nature - we might not even be completely aware it’s happening - and it can feel loud and unpleasant like a suffering you can’t grasp.
Because most of us were raised to ignore the innate language of our body, mind and spirit. We tend to just try to push through hoping the sun will come out soon. We tend to ignore ourselves and our own inner cries for help which means we don't ask for help from others when we really need it the most. This leads to the beginning of a toxic cycle with the masculinized side of our inner selves and energy, thinking we should take care of it all ourselves and just try to carry on. But it’s during these times that we need to learn to rely on others and build in extra for ourselves.
When we are going through change and transition, we might feel energetically off balance, we might feel a little unstable and when that feeling comes for me, I know that it means I need to build in extra for myself.
To break the cycle, take some time to notice what your body, mind and spirit/energy is telling you. Pause, take a deep breath and ask yourself : is your biggest issue during times of change and transition lack of sleep? If so, seek information on how you can create a special evening routine designed for a deep slumber and set your bedtime up for support. Maybe your biggest issue is managing your anxiety? Then see your therapist more frequently and let them know you are wanting to focus on navigating transition and the anxiety it’s producing.
Maybe you’re overwhelmed with your transition and it’s causing you to stress eat. I do this often! And when this happens, I like to throw in extra veggies between meals and with meals. I will literally order a pizza and steam some broccoli on the stove while I’m waiting for it to arrive to my doorstep. I also give myself extra by telling myself more often that this state I’m in is temporary and I can be gentle with myself if I do things like stress eat or forget an important detail.
If you already have a practice going, spend extra time with that practice. For my most recent transition, I built in extra breathwork time for myself in the morning and at bedtime. Knowing that breathwork calms me and gives me a sense of agency in my life, no matter how chaotic it gets, made the practice extra special and extra supportive.
( Here’s a 90 second practice I use for transmuting overwhelm to calm )
Find small ways here and there to give yourself extra, whatever that looks like for what you need. Turn to your journal for support, affirm yourself with affirmations, drink extra water, or take extra time to stretch and take care of your body! Remind yourself that you are going through a process and that you do need extra during this time.
Clear, clean and organize your space
Often when I’m going through a transitional phase (seasonally or in life) one of the first things I feel an urge to do is clear, clean, and organize my space. As humxn beings, we tend to be influenced by our physical environment, and if you are someone who identifies as sensitive or an empath, this is most definitely true.
At some point, clearing, cleaning and organizing your space will definitely help you through your transition - even if it involves letting go. When I had to say goodbye to my companion animal Emily a couple years ago, it was heartbreaking. One of the things I did to help support my own grieving process and honor her memory was organize all her toys for donation and gather all my pictures of her. I picked out a couple of her favorite toys (a set of mini stuffed goldfish that she always played with) and put them in a special box to keep with the pictures. I now have that box in a special place where I can visit her when I need to.
When I go through empowering life transitions like making the decision to quit a job, it’s also triggering a shift in my energy, my sense of self and my identity. For me to fully embody this new version of myself, I need to feel her reflected in my enviornment.
For example, when I quit my most recent part-time job it was (partially) because I realized I wasn’t fully believing in myself as a business owner the first time I ran CIG full-time. I didn’t believe I could earn money from my gifts as a breathwork facilitator and coach. After hitting my first 1K month this past summer, I realized that I am a business owner! And I need to make sure that my space supports me with running CIG. So, I cleared out the messy corners of my room that were distracting my work time and keeping me from getting clear on my daily tasks. I cleared out my closet for the second time in 2 years to up cycle anything that didn’t fit with the Jamie that is this new version of herself as a business owner.
I put away or cleared out old papers, books and oracle cards I left laying around and made sure all my main surfaces like my nightstand, desk and dresser were clear, squeaky clean and clutter free. I changed up my decor a little and re - positioned my desk to face a window and let the light in.
Cleaning, clearing and organizing your space brings in a fresh new energy that is always helpful to supporting any transition. When your space matches your energy, your energy matches your space and as I write this post, I’ve never felt more like the business owner that I am <3
Connect with yourself and your community
When transition and change is happening, we often feel out of sorts with ourselves. This is why it is so important to take the time to deeply connect (or reconnect) with yourself.
The 3 things I usually ask myself when I am going through a transition are:
How do I currently feel?
What do I desire?
How/who can care for those feelings and desires?
Usually, if a change or transition is happening in my life from an empowered choice I’ve made I get excited! I want to take ownership of my path and start working with the future. I also want to understand deeply how I feel, what my needs and desires are. So, in this recent transition, it felt really good to make a mood board/vision board to help me really feel into what I want my day-to-day to be like. Making a vision board and setting some goals can be a helpful way to connect with yourself on a deep level. I love using Robin Scott’s goal setting process. ( Fyi - Not an affiliate link ) I’ve been using it for years and it’s always helped me bring my desires into reality. Receiving support from Robin through a supportive product she’s created (even though I’m not actually meeting with her), makes me feel connected to the community she has created.
If vision boarding and goal setting feels inappropriate or overwhelming during your transition, for example if you’re going through a break up or grieving the loss of a loved one, you can still connect with yourself and others on a deep level. Asking yourself how you feel and what you desire (or need in this case), will help you to better understand how to take care of yourself. It might even lead you to reach out to a friend, favorite practitioner or your community of loved ones for support.
When Emily passed away, I reached out to my therapist to see if she knew of any pet related support groups for pet loss and grief. I remembered feeling invalid in my feelings for being so sad about her passing and taking time off of work to grieve. I realized that loosing a pet is different than loosing a humxn loved one and that I needed specific support from those who would get it. She pointed me to some resources that were very close to me. I reached out to a nearby University vet clinic that had build in social services. Their website had PDF’s and book recommendations for coping with animal companion loss and they even had links to nearby pet loss grief groups. They also offered grief counseling through their office specific for loss of a companion animal. I never felt so supported through such a difficult time! You never know what resources are out there until you just ask your people!
keep planting, keep breathing…
jamie <3
If you’d like some additional support in breathing though change and transition, book a 1:1 breathwork session or join a group event. I will create a gentle space to breathe, feel and let it all go <3