being intuitive is a gift

photo by jamie schumann

Being intuitive is a gift.

I used to feel that if I couldn’t do math or science to help others that meant I had no place in the world.

I struggled so much because I worried so much about what others thought of me.

I always had my head in the clouds and I found that I could always tell what others were feeling and thinking.

I never really knew what it meant to be real. Or what reality meant.

My external and internal differences made me feel unworthy of the things I really wanted. Success, happiness and to live a wonderful life.

I always grew up straddling two worlds inside my body. My parents come from two completely different backgrounds and that made me look and feel different.

I was always facing so much pain at such a young age.

As I grew older I learned to be silent. I learned that if I didn’t want people to judge me then all I had to do was disappear. Whether or not this was the truth didn’t matter. If I felt invisible to others then I knew that was safety.

But sometimes what feels safe is not a safety net but a false glass door to hide behind.

Glass is also very delicate. And what happens when that glass door breaks? You feel exposed. You feel vulnerable and it hurts.

But what if it didn’t have to hurt? What if you could be vulnerable on your own terms? What if you could follow your gut every step of the way, cradle your mind out of thinking untrue and unuseful judgments about yourself? Tell your body that it is okay to be what you are because it serves you the way you need it to and to hell with all the rest?

You can. And it’s more beautiful than you’d ever imagine. It’s full of light and wonder and creative prose. It ties together your adult logic and your childlike imagination. It’s beyond balance and more than you could ever imagine. It’s empowering and more. It’s everything you thought was never possible. It feels right. It feels like the next step. And it’s just out there waiting for you. To show up as you are flaws and all in all your flawlessness of that. Because you were born whole without any invalidation that you are worthy of it all. And you now know you’ll never second guess that feeling, that solar plexus ping.

You’ve got it now and forever.

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