3 ways to be kinder to yourself

One of the things I’ve struggled with the most in life is learning how to be kind to myself. And if you’re reading this, then I know I’m not alone. Many of us have been taught that we should be kind to others and that being kind to others will help us feel good about ourselves.

While I do believe this to be true, I also have learned that nurturing yourself is equally important to nurturing others. Because it’s harder to receive the effects of kind acts or words we give to others when we aren’t first open to receiving it from ourselves.

In a way, many of us don’t believe we are worthy of receiving kindness. We haven’t yet built up our own internal sense of self - worth through kindness towards ourselves.

We also can’t talk about having kindness towards ourselves without first acknowledging that being kinder to ourselves requires a deep level of active self - compassion.

Below, I share 3 ways I love to be kind to myself. You'll notice self - compassion is woven within most of them. Like many other practices, building kindness towards ourselves and self - compassion takes time and repetition. I hope you can take these 3 practices and implement them into your daily life to support you in building kindness towards yourself. You will see that once you start nurturing the relationship with yourself, those around you will notice and feel the benefits too <3

Engage with your Self - Talk

Become aware of how you actually talk to yourself and nurture this relationship with compassion and confidence.

I recently had an experience after leading a breathwork session with a new style I was trying out. I exited Zoom feeling really good about the session and as I got up from my chair my mind took me in a different direction. In my head I told myself, “Wow, I really suck!”. I was really caught off guard by this. It was a moment of awareness that caught my attention. I became curious if this type of self - talk was a regular occurrence flying under the radar in my brain. I had been experiencing a shortage of confidence in myself in other areas of my life outside of being a breathwork facilitator. In that moment I made a commitment to engage with my own self - talk with compassion and confidence.

Whether it’s in your head to yourself or said outloud in the moment, our self - talk informs how we see ourselves and also how we accept ourselves for who we are on a conscious and unconscious level. Talk to yourself like you would a dear loved one, best friend or sweet companion animal and make it a regular practice.

I love combining the somatic quality of connecting my brain and my body to support intentional, kind self - talk right away when I wake up. Part of my morning breathwork practice is telling myself loving and kind affirmations such as “I am doing my best and my best is enough” while placing my hands on my heart and breathing deep into this space.

If you catch yourself being your own internal bully, lend some compassion and tell yourself you’ll commit to supporting yourself with kindness instead next time.

Leave daily notes filled with kindness around your space

Leave yourself kind notes throughout your space or where you’re likely to see them without effort to reinforce kindness and self - compassion.

One of the things I’m focusing on is sending effortless messages to my subconscious mind through visuals and colorful post - it notes. I love writing myself little notes on post - it’s before I go to bed and placing them on my nightstand. It’s such a treat to see them first thing when my eyes open in the morning. Visually seeing something I’ve taken the intentional time and space to handwrite to myself just feels so kind, beautiful and supportive. I also love leaving notes around the house in my cupboards, on my bathroom mirror or even taped to my favorite beverage inside the fridge. Get playful and creative with where you place them!

Here are some examples of kind notes I’ve left myself :

“small steps still count”

“you can feel anxious about the future, and still conquer today”

“welcome to a new day beautiful!”

Give yourself a break

Tell yourself there’s always tomorrow and take the day off from inner work.

It might seem counter intuitive, but, sometimes being kind to ourselves means giving permission to just unplug from the work. We can get so consumed by our desire to change that we sometimes forget change and healing are not something to achieve, but rather a natural part of living a fuller life.

Just as our breath moves, in and out so do the winds of change. For this very reason there is no rush in what your learning or how you’re growing. I know that I have a habit of continuously wanting to improve myself which is such a beautiful thing. And, there also is space for knowing that when you take a break from the work you’re doing, you’re still doing the work.

I often have to remind myself that I am not a machine to be fixed, but a garden to tend to.

Giving yourself a break and inviting in a humxn moment ( or day ) will allow integration to happen which is key to embodiment. Giving yourself a break from time to time will allow yourself to let go and cultivate inner trust.

Because part of being kinder to yourself is knowing you’ve got all the parts of yourself no matter what comes your way.

P.S. Are you enjoying these posts? For the latests updates on new blog posts join the Collective Inner Garden community to stay in touch <3