tools for working with shadow.
It’s a beautiful sunny Saturday on this leap day and I am curious about my soul and the ways it’s calling me to leap. One of the ways I’ve created space for preparing to bloom into the next version of myself is making time for shadow work. As we prepare for fiery Aries season, and a season of the Maiden energy in the Triple Goddess, we continue to engage with winter’s last rite to reflect deeply and devotedly in the water sign of Pisces. It is a portal forming and an opportunity to water the soil once more before the seedlings sprout into flowers. It is a brilliant time for shadow work.
Have you heard of this term? If not, I recently wrote a post on what shadow work is. You can find it in The Garden here.
In short, shadow work is deep, reflective inner work that we do to heal wounds in this life and lives past that get in the way of ourselves and our relationships with others. Shadows are considered to be the parts of ourselves that we keep hidden due to fear of judgement from others and judgement we give ourselves. Shadows are traits of our personality that are considered “dark” which is why we try to keep them hidden. Although this work might seem dark, difficult and scary, the truth is the opposite. Once you begin to make space to support your shadows, you will quickly see they are a goldmine of opportunities for healing and growth. They are truly beautiful and allow us to see the human side of ourselves uniting us as one.
If you are drawn to this type of work, you probably know that there is a reason why you’re meant to work with your shadows. It is most likely due to a sense or need to uplevel your life in some way with a new career, relationship or home. Shadows can cast a veil on our true selves ( our souls) and can inhibit our path to soul work, mission work or life purpose. It can create limiting beliefs to the things we desire most in order to live a happy and prosperous life. Which we all are meant to do on this planet!
The link to the post above will give you the framework I use to work with my own shadows. While writing that post, I felt the need to supply you with tools to help you create an experience and care for yourself. Take what you need. There are also plenty of others writing about their own shadow work.
When we start to engage in shadow work, we can feel like our world is being flipped upside down. In the traditional art of Tarot, I think of the Death card as a symbol of this work. Because death ( metaphorically in this case ) is part of the rebirth process and shadow work is the key to the illuminating light at the end of the tunnel. When we work with our shadows, we are really working with the pieces of ourselves that no longer serve us. They served you at one point to get you to be who you are today (at this moment ) and for that, we can be grateful and express love and thanks to them. Through shadow work, you can transmute your own pain and wounds to receive love and experience freedom, personal sovereignty and confidence.
After you’ve read the post linked above, feel free to visit this space once more to set the tone and prepare for your shadow work. Below is a list of resources that really help me during shadow work.
A journal or notebook + pen
If you’ve ever journaled before, you know that documenting your own narratives can be so powerful. Writing our own stories through self authorship can help us to interpret meaning from our experiences. To start, you don’t need to do an hour long deep session of journaling to get things moving. Writing in shadow work is as easy as documenting a thought, emotion or trigger you experienced. Anything that resonates with you, that has you questioning “Hmm, what’s up with that?”. It can also be a word related to your shadow that you feel you might need to address. For example if you notice you feel a negative feeling when someone says the word “power”, you can start there and start pulling in clues such as situations, feelings and attachments to the word “power” you’ve experienced. Document it in your journal and start to look for patterns. Maybe you start to realize the word “power” is triggering for you because you learned from an adult that power was a bad thing when you were 10 years old. The reality of facing this shadow with power might mean you need to confront situations where you act out because you feel powerless and are meant to take your power back.
A journal and pen can be helpful in the witnessing stage of shadow work. Witnessing for me has two parts : it’s the actual mindfulness of noticing a feeling or trigger that presents a shadow to you and it’s also the actual documentation of it. The whole point is to transmute this pain you feel into something you can learn from. Witness your shadows. Hold space for them as much as you need to. Then prepare to transform them into something beautiful. As Tich Nat Hahn says “No Mud, No Lotus”.
Paint + Canvas ( or other modes of expression )
If you are not a writer or avid journaller, see if there are other modes of creativity that call you. Maybe it’s painting, maybe you make a visual representation of what you are experiencing. This could be the form of a vision board or mood board. Or it could be an intuitive drawing or making a sculpture. The whole point of externalizing it onto a space is so you can look for clues and make meaning of it. For a vision board maybe you vision about the things you want and then you start experiencing your shadows that show up as limiting beliefs around what you want. Pay attention to the colors, shapes, reoccurring themes, symbols and feelings they give you. Witnessing is about holding the space that you need for your shadows. If you hold the space, their truth will surface.
A special space
When we engage in shadow work, we can feel vulnerable. It can be an exposing thing and this is why it is so important to find a very special place where you feel safe, comfort, solace, warmth and undisturbed for your journaling and reflection practice. It can be any type of space and you get to choose where it is. You also don’t have to make a whole production out of it. Maybe on your daily walk you find a quiet place to sit and journal or reflect for 5 - 10 minutes. Or, it might be a corner of your home in a quiet room with a big cozy chair and a cup of tea, or it could be a beautiful garden of wild flowers and trees in a local park nearby. You’ll know where your special place is. You will feel it calling you there. A special place I’ve always felt drawn to is the lake. I grew up blocks away from a giant lake that felt like the sea and anytime I started to feel unsafe, I would walk to the lake and just sit next to it. It always made me feel so calm. Even though I’ve moved out of my hometown, I still live only blocks away from a large body of water. It’s just what I need and it will always be my place.
Water + a snack
Sometimes when we do this mental and emotional work, it can feel overwhelming on our minds and bodies. This is why it is so important to keep water and food nearby. When we physically nourish our bodies and replenish it with sustenance, we also feed our mind and replenish our energy. I always carry a snack with me because it’s so easy for me to get “spacey” in my head. I spend a lot of moments in my upper chakras and forget to take care of my human Earthly needs like food and water. Some of my favorite snacks include a trail mix of nuts, protein bites or protein packed mini muffins I’ve baked up for the week. I always have a water container handy and have scoped out where my water sources are. If I decide to hike into a state park and want to stop on trail for creating art or journaling, I’ll always carry extra water sources in my day pack. I will also be sure to note where water sources are around me just in case I need a fill up. Find snacks that you love. Things you look forward to consuming during this work. Foods that comfort and nourish you. A friend of mine once described the feeling you get when you hike to the top of a mountain or trail and you stop to break and bite into an apple. It feels so nourishing. I love this feeling. Keeping these things handy will ensure your physical body, emotional body and mind body are supported to do the work.
Speaking of Earthly needs ...
A grounding ritual
Grounding into our bodies and human / Earthly needs is so important! This work and any spiritual work can be exhilarating, magical and fun but - it can also be very draining. When it comes to grounding, I think of the Base Chakra or Root Chakra (of the 7 Chakra System). I also wrote a post on the chakra system here if you’re unfamiliar with it. You can look up Root Chakra and learn more about it. Basically it’s an energy center located in our lower body that governs our physical needs including food, shelter, money and safety.
When I am feeling emotionally vulnerable, scared and unsafe I tend to pull my physical body into a ball - like the fetal position - causing symptoms of physical stress such as neck pain, back pain and headaches. Prolonged stress can be very hard on your mind, body and energy. Because of this, one of my favorite practices to ground into my body is yoga practice. Physical exercise is a great tool for grounding. One of the reasons why I love a good yoga flow is because of the endorphins and the mindfulness of being in my body. Bringing my energy back to the physical plane with yoga always helps me ground. What I also love about yoga is if you do a flow there will be a common sequence you always return to with a Chaturanga, upward facing dog then downward facing dog. This repetition helps create a sense of safety and grounding for me because I know what to expect and can anticipate the moves. It forces me to be physically stable using my muscles to support my body as I go through the flow. This creates a sense of safety and self - reliance which is what grounding is all about.
A grounding ritual also doesn’t have to be a big production. It can be just getting up to take a walk or trying this pacing technique I learned recently, drinking a big glass of water ( water feeds the Earth allowing for plants to grow in it, so yes, it can be grounding ), using essential oils ( with a carrier oil! ) like vetiver, cedarwood and sandalwood ( really any oil that smells like trees!), or lighting a stick of frankincense incense and laying on the floor in corpse pose or Savasana pose. Find a little ritual that feels accessible to you. Something you know you will do when feeling prompted to ground.
A practitioner for system / energy work
A life - changing tool in my toolkit has been people I’ve found who do body and energy work. I’ve tried some different techniques including massage, reiki, cranial sacral therapy and Global Somatics Process (GSP) but the practitioner that has really been helping me with my physical, mental and energy needs is my current acupuncturist. I’ve always been curious about acupuncture but didn’t know enough about it to really give it a try. At a wellness expo, I met a practitioner who was giving free 15 minute acupuncture sessions to people who they thought could benefit it. It was my first time trying it and I was astonished at how I could feel so relaxed in the middle of a bustling expo. The practitioner I have now specializes in Traditional Chinese Medicine including Chinese herbs, tui na and Chinese food therapy. This healing approach has helped my body to activate and engage in it’s own healing process restoring balance to my mind, body and soul. If you feel called to you can search your local directory for a good healing practitioner. You can find referrals from people you know or check out the practitioners websites for their specialties and training. Most people will start with a consultation so you can get to know the practitioner before the work begins. Listen to your intuition in locating someone to help you with what you need! I asked the non-physical for a well - rounded practitioner to help me with my specific needs and he was shown to me through happenstance. It couldn’t have been better timing for where I am at in my journey to level up and work with shadows!
A tarot / oracle deck of your choice
Something I find myself reaching for time and time again is my favorite deck of tarot or oracle cards. I bought my first deck at a bookstore when I was in my early 20’s. It wasn’t until my late 20’s that I really learned the personal power it held. A tarot card deck is a traditional divination tool used to help you understand obstacles, blessings, lessons + karma you’re facing. A typical deck is composed of 52 cards each (although I also have one that is 72! ) including some combination of visual art and numbers. A traditional deck will have 4 “suits” following the elementals ( Earth - Air - Fire - Water ). The deck I use now is almost 2 years old. It uses animals instead of people in the art which helps me connect on a spirit level with the deck. It also has an additional layer to it, on top of the imagery, elemental suits and numbers, it references the 7 Chakra system as it relates to the message of the card. It is one of my favorite tools and I love it so much I bought a mini pocket tin version to carry in my bag.
You can use the deck to help give you guidance on what it is you're working through when it comes to your shadow work. You can ask a simple question like “what am I currently working through?” or “what guidance do I need moving forward?” and pull one card at a time for each question. Sometimes, I’ll pull a couple more or pair my Tarot cards with Oracle cards for more clear confirmation in the message. Oracle cards are different from Tarot in that they often include visual art paired with a clear mantra or message like “breathe” or “trust your path”. Oracle cards are great for quick and clear healing messages. The best thing about it I’ve learned in my own practice is that there is no wrong way to interpret a card or deck. It is an art form, so it might take you some time to learn how to read your own cards. Each deck comes with a small guide including a meaning for each card. You can find plenty of helpful books and online blogs on how to read tarot cards. But, no experience is necessary to read yourself. Just use your self awareness and your intuition to know what feels right! I recommend finding a deck that calls to your soul. One you immediately fall in love with and know you need to have. Intuitively choose one and when you bring it home, cleanse your new deck with smoke ( incense works fine ) and spend some time with it. Some people like to sleep with their deck under their pillow or bond with it over the course of the deck only pulling one card a day for the duration of the deck. I like to keep a clear quartz crystal stored in the box with my deck for round the clock charging. Today, tarot is widely popular, especially in spiritual work so you shouldn’t have any trouble finding a deck. You can find them online or at your local metaphysical shop or bookstore.
*one piece of advice : never give your power away to your tarot deck. If you pull something you don’t like, work to release yourself from it instead of letting it rule over you.
Self - trust, self - compassion + self -worth
All of these things have been so important in supporting me in this inner work, but above all, the greatest tool I have has come from my own inner support. A couple of years ago, I worked with a practitioner to help me heal my body and mind. Before our work began, they told me that in healing work it is important to know where your external support is (friends, family, etc.) but it is also just as important to call upon your inner support. She began to lead me into a guided meditation where she took me into the chambers of my heart. As I visualized the inner chambers and she noted that there is a chamber located in the back bottom part of the human heart where our inner support lies. She guided me to visualize a mythical creature that looked like a version of myself and allowed us to connect with each other. As someone who’s drawn to water ( and Lemuria and Atlantis ), I naturally visualized a mermaid. At that time I had no idea that the mermaid I visualized would become my source for self - trust, self - compassion and self - worth. Now, whenever I am struggling, I visualize her deep in my heart and she guides me through.
When you’re doing shadow work, it can be intense. It can be so heavy and as you start to witness these darker parts of yourself you might feel some difficult things. You might feel guilty, you might feel like you’re a bad person, you might even feel unworthy. But, if you have a source of inner support, you can call on the counterparts of those feelings to help guide you through. Because the reality is you are none of those things. And if you really are - then it’s only a single part of you in time which always moves on.
You have to learn to trust yourself in this work. This is especially important when it comes to witnessing and learning. If you start to question your own motives because of your shadows, the work will feel heavier than it is meant to. A scary part of shadow work and why people turn away from the self awareness it takes to engage. That is also why having courage to be compassionate with yourself is also very important. Self - compassion can help you when it comes to being curious about your shadows and naming the root cause of the shadow versus being judgmental towards it causing you to retreat.. Self - compassion is a must to meet yourself where you are at in this process. Knowing that you are human and that you make mistakes ( just like everyone else ) is vital in recognizing how your shadows are meant to guide you.
You also have to know that you are worthy of healing. You are worthy of a better life with a better career and better people in it. Many times I’ve struggled with my own self - worth, more so as it relates to boundaries. Often we equate our worth to what’s happening externally around us like a friend that chose to leave us behind or a job that lacks work life balance leaving you pouring from an empty cup. These are the mirrors that tell us what we long for deep inside. They are reflections of the things we want and need to be well in this life. Whatever the external mirror might be for you, know that it is only a mirror and that it will remain only a mirror unless your power is given away to it. Empower yourself to understand that whatever you are seeking, you are worthy of it.
And this is all to say that shadow work is really just about getting right with yourself. It’s about developing into the person you know you want to be with the desires you have to live your life to the fullest. I hope these tools help you in your own shadow work practice.
And if you are needing a little extra support in your personal healing process you can check out my offerings below. I hold monthly breathwork circles for getting back into the body and reclaiming your power. I also have one-on-one opportunities to work together <3
Keep planting. Keep watering. Keep blooming.
jamie
*thumbnail image by jamie schumann